Attack of the Clones Rewatch
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If you told me before 2002 that there would be a Star Wars movie that included how the emperor got his power, what the clone wars really meant, Boba Fett’s father, and how the death star was conceived, I would have predicted the greatest Star Wars movie ever made. Well, we got all those things and… it really sucked.
It took me no less than four attempts to finish this movie. It was painful. I avoided re-watching both Attack of the Clones and Revenge of the Sith over the last few years because I remember being underwhelmed by both movies. I hoped that this movie wasn’t as bad as I remembered. The good news is that George Lucas isn’t directing any more Star Wars movies.
Attack of the Clones starts out with an interesting idea for a Star Wars movie. Senator Amidala is almost killed in an assassination attempt. It was an unexpected plot point when I first saw the movie. Upon viewing it again, it was mostly wasted. A political conspiracy could have been a compelling story to tell if done right. Lucas almost completely ruined the most intriguing part of the movie by focusing on the thoroughly unconvincing love story between Anakin and Amidala.
You are in my very soul, tormenting me… what can I do? I will do anything you ask
ARGHHH! How about stop with the crappy love scenes. The scene by the fireplace was gut wrenching, The two of them playing in the fields was questionable and when Amidala finally tells Anakin she loves him in the colosseum tunnel, nobody believed it, not even Anakin.
These scenes were why it took me almost a week to get trough this movie. They sandwiched the only interesting part of the movie.
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Obi Wan’s quest to find the clone army was my only respite in this film. It continued the conspiracy that started with Amidala’s assassination attempt. These twenty or so minutes were fairly intriguing. It also contained my favorite part of the film: Yoda is teaching several jedi children and Obi Wan tells him he can’t find a planet in the archives.
Lost a planet, Master Obi-Wan has. How embarrassing. How embarrassing!
Everything went down hill from here culminating in the biggest display of green screen technology in modern film. It’s hard to blame the actors (except Hayden Christensen). They were constantly asked to stare and talk to markers and empty space as if they were living beings. Even good actors look goofy when asked to do this. It didn’t help that they did this over and over again. There were scenes where small rooms were created with CGI for no apparent reason. Why not build the room?
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Perhaps the biggest failure was the completely asinine lightsaber duel between Count Dooku and Yoda. I can understand what Lucas was trying to do here: show everyone just how much of a bad mama jamma Yoda truly was. He failed. Yoda was supposed to be THE master. The little green alien that was as close to the force as anyone can be. He was above hand to hand combat and light saber duels.
It is obvious that this contest cannot be decided by our knowledge of the Force… but by our skills with a lightsaber - Dooku
Nope! That was the last thing that should have happened.
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